Idaho for Thanksgiving

For Thanksgiving this year we surprised my mom and sisters by going to Idaho. It was a bit of an adventure, we flew into Salt Lake City and drove to where my mom lives in Idaho (it was about a 3 hour drive). We got in really late Wednesday night, and woke up early Thanksgiving morning so Rob could go out and meet all of my cousins/uncles for football. The whole trip was full of giggles, food, and me constantly peeing. My mom's family is quite large so there were about 50 people at our thanksgiving chatting and catching up, many of whom had never met Robert. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving lunch. After leaving our lunch, my sisters, brother in-law, niece and Rob and I went to visit our other side of the family. We took a few pictures and sent them to my dad, he was very jealous that he wasn't there with us. After all of that we did a little shopping; yes you read that right shopping....on Thanksgiving...We went quick so we could get back and watch the Seahawks game (which we were recording). We had a hell of a time trying to avoid seeing any scores throughout the mall. We were also stopped a number of times because we were wearing our jerseys (Idaho is mostly a Bronco fan state). Robert and I found a bunch of basic baby clothes for our little girls first year, it was fun picking out things together and to see Roberts face when he found something he really liked for her. We kept up our tradition of a puzzle and scratch tickets, although this year we didn't get to complete the puzzle or scratch our scratch tickets until the evening. My mom and her husband helped Robert and I find one of the only stores open Thanksgiving in her little town so we could buy a puzzle; and my mom's husband bought a round of scratch tickets for all of us "kids" (we each got 4, 1$ tickets). Robert won 3$ and I won 40 bucks!!! It was silly to have everyone join in on our goofy tradition but overall it was a wonderful time.

Rob was out shooting with our brother in-law and my cousins, it was freezing and super windy

I haven't been back to Idaho since my Grandfather passed away, it was an emotional time for knowing that I would be there and he wouldn't be.  We were close, and I miss him a lot. He was always a big supporter for me and the funniest old guy be around. He always had a story to tell and loved going on adventures. I know he would be so proud of where I am now. I also know that he would have loved Robert; its hard to think that he never got to meet him, and will never get to meet my baby girl. I am not the biggest believer in religion but I do believe that he is still present in my life. After struggling for years to conceive I was incredibly anxious and nervous about starting all over, and after months and months of nothing, there was a night while Rob and I were in Hawaii, sitting on the beach, where I was just overcome with emotion that we would find out after our wedding that I was pregnant. (I write this trying my best to not sound weird...) It was like my grandpa was giving me a big hug and whispering "it will be ok, it will happen." After returning from Hawaii I told my older sister about my experience, she told me she too feels his presence in her life. About 3 months later, unknowingly on what would have been my grandfathers birthday, I took the tests and found out I was pregnant. I know he is still rooting for me, where ever he is now. Robert and I went to visit his grave the last day we were there.  It was freezing cold and so so windy but we sat in the grass for a bit, said a few things and made our way back to Salt lake to catch our plane home.

Thanksgiving was great this year and I'm so glad we got to spend it with family.

News, Changes, and a Bit of Drama.

A lot has changed in the past few months, we packed up our 2 bedroom apartment put almost everything in storage and drove down to San Diego for Roberts work. My adventuring personality was eager and nervous all at the same time. We were set to leave about 2 weeks after our wedding, things were approaching fast and finally it was time to head out.

To be honest I thought the change would be easy. I was used to moving around and visiting new places, however this time, things felt different. I was incredibly emotional about the move, and (to my surprise) Robert was incredibly sad to leave our little apartment. For me it was a place of much change, and the first place Robert and I lived together. It was our home and we loved it. It was safe and comfortable, but we were so excited for our new journey.

We left our apartment really late the night of the 15th and drove through the night until we reached portland. We spent 2 hours driving around only to find that all of the hotels were booked. We finally found a place to sleep, and woke up to continue our journey. We spent a night in Sacramento and my good friend Brian's parents house and then drove on to LA, where we spent the night meeting up wtih some of my friends. The entire trip I just felt so strange, I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so off. I chalked it up to the big move and all of the new changes of being married. After finally arriving at our "place" in San Diego, we tried to settle in. Typically this is something I really enjoy doing; exploring all of the new areas, starting a new routine, finding my place in a new location. Again things felt so different, I was so off.

A few days later while Rob was at work and I was in our little place messing around on the computer I kept finding myself standing in the other room trying to figure out what I was doing. I would start doing something and completely forget why I was there or what I was doing. I would be holding my phone in my hand one minute and the next it was gone, I started to feel a little crazy, a little emotional, and a lot less motivated to go explore. That day I decided to take a pregnancy test.---side note--- A very difficult topic for me is fertility and pregnancy. Very few know of the struggles I have faced with fertility, it's a topic that feels almost too taboo to speak about. Infertility and miscarriages leave women feeling alone and helpless and its hard to reach out for support. Having a family is something both Robert and I talked about very early on in our relationship. It was a topic we discussed in great detail, it was something we both were looking forward to, that was whenever my body decided to cooperate with me--- {so back the pregnancy test} While rob was at work I decided to take a test, after so many negative tests from years prior, I told myself it was going to show up as negative. I set the test on the bathroom floor walked out and started doing the dishes. A few minutes later I remembered the test and decided to go look at it, as I looked down at the test and saw the two lines I dropped to my knees and cried; I cried with the biggest smile you can imagine. I was in shock, utter disbelief. I rummaged through the drawer and found 2 other tests, took those sat on the floor and stared at them. My hands were trembling, I was so excited and at the same time so scared. I kept thinking that for some reason the tests were wrong, it couldn't be true. I quickly texted Robert that he needed to come home ASAP and that he needed to call me right away. He wasn't off for another 2 hours, and after realizing that I didn't want to tell him over the phone I quickly calmed down and when he called I nonchalantly said "O it's nothing I will just wait for you to get home." I laid in bed with the test all sitting  next to me just waiting for him to get home. When he walked in I jumped up ran out to see him and handed him all of the tests.
I will never forget his face, he had the biggest smile and just kept saying "Really? Really!?!" followed up with him hugging and kissing me so tight.
The excitement turned into a bit of panic, for days previous I had been experiencing horrible cramping, (the day before our wedding I was in the hospital for a cyst that was on my ovary) we were so afraid that something was wrong. Now, in a new city I found myself sitting at home alone, doubled over in pain, worried about losing a baby we just found out we were having.  Despite our worries, and other small complications that come along with me being pregnant, baby is doing well. After a hospital visit and a few doctors visits, our little tiny bean is growing, has a strong heartbeat, and is so loved already. Things may be a little bit more complicated for my pregnancy, but I am so overjoyed to have such a wonderful, supportive partner to help me through it.

Unconditional Love-Autism

Most of you know I work with kids that have autism, in short I am a behavior therapist. I work with children and young adults, doing anything from social outings to private teaching. The reason I am bringing up my job is because with all of our big changes, I am going to be "leaving" my job. I will be moving to an area where I no longer have clients; the changes are very important for our future and I am excited that Robert and I will be moving forward with our life, but a part of me is very sad that I am leaving behind such a wonderful career. I'm sure your thinking to yourself why can't you do what you do where your moving, and the answer isn't simple. I have worked years cultivating relationships and networking to be where I am today, I don't have my Masters Degree so it limits my opportunities. There are so many possibilities but all of it will take time. 

So here is a few things about my experience with Autism.

 Something about autism that I find so profound, is the connection you can make with these individuals. The connection is different then those with typical peers. The love you feel when you make a connection with someone with autism seems so much stronger and so much more real. It's a child like love, one that takes time and sensitivity to create, one that is loyal and unhindered. When you are in their circle you are something special. 

About 2 years ago I left one of my first long term positions with a kid who had autism. I worked with him for nearly 2 years. Most days I was with him for about 6 hours, others I was with him for 10 or more hours. He was my buddy, and I was his. My role was everything from caregiver to teacher to nurturer. I took him to get his shots, was there when he was sick, took him to school events, worked with him on his social behaviors and so much more. When I had to explain to him that I would be leaving he cried and cried, and pleaded with me to stay. It was really, really difficult. He taught me so many things. Yes you heard me right a 5 year old with Autism, taught me things; some profound things at that. Patience, unconditional love, and most of all communication. 

Communication for anyone is difficult, but especially for kids that have autism. I am constantly working on creative ways to communicate with the individuals I work with, and find ways to help them communicate with me. I think the greatest bonds are formed when communication is present; whether its verbal or non-verbal, as long as constant communication is there, the connection with that individual is very strong. 

The last 2 years I have worked primarily with a child who I will call R. R is extremely smart, very witty, and so so sweet. The thing with R is that he doesn't have the ability to formulate complete sentences, so those on the outside don't know how smart he is. They also don't know how to communicate with him. 

When I started working with him I did a lot of observing; he would switch his iPad and his wii into other languages and easily type and search things using those languages--when I would mention to him that I noticed what he was doing or ask him about it, he would "play dumb" or act like he couldn't any longer. I would ask him about a topic or tell him something one day, and find he had written down a few words on a piece of paper or had searched what I had mentioned on his iPad. (R has been able to read since he was 2) As time went on I noticed that many of the people around him (especially his teachers) thought that he didn't understand things; they were very very wrong. In 2 years a boy who used to sit in school and count shapes and read colors for 6 hours, now does long division, algebra, understands pi, knows about circuits and a ton of other science and math related topics. Through teaching him these things I found ways to communicate with him, he makes jokes with me and remembers things that are important to me. I talk to him like a friend, and although he doesn't always respond with words, he will write things and type things to me so I know he understands. 

About 2 weeks ago I wrote on his white board. "R I have something I need to ask you." He looked up at me. "I am getting married soon and I wanted to know if you want to come?" As he I watched his eyes read each word he started to smile. He took my pen and wrote in big letters "YES". Then I wrote something else "After my wedding R, I have to move away."  I watched again as his eyes skipped past each word. He looked up, clearly confused. I then wrote, "I am moving to San Diego on August 15th." He looked down and then grabbed the eraser and erased what I wrote. I left it at that, days went by and I would check his search history and find things like San Diego, hotels San Diego, and San Francisco. A year ago I was traveling a bit and would frequent San Francisco, he wouldn't see me for a few days but I would always return. I wondered if he thought I would come back like I did before. When his parents found someone who I could train to work in my place, I think he finally understood I was actually leaving. Tomorrow is the first day of the new therapists training with me, and although I was anxious about having to train someone I hadn't said much about it to R. Today R, was crying; I couldn't figure out what was up, at first I thought he was just trying to waste time because he was bored with division, but something just felt different. So I wrote on his board "Why are you upset" I handed him the pen and he wrote "because linsy is coming". It hit me Lindsay the new ABA therapist was coming tomorrow and he understood she was going to be taking my place. I wrote "do you want her to come" he looked down; then I wrote "Why are you sad that Lindsay is coming?" He held the pen in his hand for a few seconds wrote the word "because" and looked up at me, then continued to write "Alice the Camel." ----to anyone else this would have made no sense; but to me "Alice the Camel" is a joke we have about a song. He plays the song and giggles, waits for me to smile at him, I will start singing, he then hugs me, smells my hair, and starts doing his work. R, in his own way was telling me that he was sad I was leaving, I started to tear up he looked up at me, climbed onto my lap, and hugged me so tight. ----

I love my job, even on the most difficult days I love it. Leaving is difficult, change is difficult.   

Some accomplishments and 4th of July

Things have been crazy busy for us lately, so blogging has been put on the back burner. So much has happened since my last blog post but here is a little about our most recent adventures.

We have been trying to finish up wedding preparations and pack for our move to San Diego, my family was in town, and on top of it all Robert has been working a ton of overtime (I had been working a lot also). It's hard to find time for everything, and everyone but we do our best to spend time with family. I have to admit half the time I feel like I am in a fog, just trying not to get caught up in everything around me.--I may be just a little stressed :P

Some family stuff we have done lately

Beer festival with our dads for Fathers Day

Danica Graduated!

Fathers Day Buffet! Always gotta have that buffet :P

I made homemade taro pancakes with my (soon to be) Mother in law

You may have mistaken that lovely lady on the motorcycle as me, but it's actually my little sister Emma!

Aileen had her baby shower at Coulon park! 

I finished another 5k! This race was a lot faster than my last, 28 minutes this time! I felt like this one was much harder with a lot more hills (as well as the colors getting thrown at you made it seem more difficult to me). I have to say I was very proud, especially since I haven't been able to get to the gym very often.

Here are some photos from the 4th of July; we went to the Bothell parade, and had a BBQ at the lake afterwards. It was excruciatingly hot, but we had a really good time with family.

Camelopardalids meteor shower 2014

This was one of those last minute adventures that I love so much. I found out about the meteor shower at around 10 am, and by 11 am I was packing for the trek east. It was scheduled to be cloudy near home, but I wasn't going to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to see this meteor shower. So I found a spot near Cle Elum where we could park the truck and see the stars; they allowed over night camping and the forcast was moderately clear which allowed us the ability to sleep in the bed of the truck. We invited our friends up to Speelyi Beach with us (they couldn't camp but wanted to see the shower). We started a fire because the meteor shower wasn't supposed to start until about 11ish, so we enjoyed a few hours of campfire while I set up the camera, the telescope and the bed of the truck for sleeping. I wish I would have had a little more time to set up my telescope better as well as my camera however it was still amazing. The cloud cover was intermittent and you could see so many stars. The meteor shower was pretty intense, bright streaks and pretty frequent. I was too excited about seeing the stars I didn't get my photography equipment set up the best, so a majority of my photos turned out blurry. The experience was well worth it and I can't wait to go back to Speelyi beach to camp again! The next meteor shower is mid August so hopefully we can get out to see that one also!

A few double exposures of robs head :P 

The Milky Way was visible 

We arrived at night so we didn't know what we were waking up to in the morning. It was beautiful, the sun was out and it was warm.

Hawaii Part 3

This guy lost his contact the first day we were there, so in many of the photos he had one eye closed :D

This picture was taken at a taco truck we found, I had so many fish tacos while in Hawaii..

Roosters roosters everywhere!

 We met tons of people who had some sort of affiliation with Washington everywhere we went. It was quite nice actually, and always a good conversation starter.

Robert and his guns...he had to get a picture of these bullet holes in the restrooms sign.

So glad we rented a car it made things so much easier. I almost went through a website to book one but when I called the day of they gave me a really really good deal! Sometimes its best to wait last minute.

best way to save money is buy your own drinks :D This thing made going to the beach extra fun

 This was the beach that Rob almost drowned..lol..It was Roberts first snorkel experience and my first time snorkeling to see tropical fish. It was really amazing even though the current was a bit strong. Roberts mask filled with water frequently because his nose doesn't really fit the mask properly. So when we were out really far I yelled out to him to see if he was ok; he just shook his head in terror while frantically trying to paddle back to shore. I swam over to him real quick and noticed his whole mask was full of water; I was able to tread water and keep him up while emptying his mask so I could help him swim back. Many new swimmers or people who aren't familiar with ocean swimming don't really understand how the currents work, they try to fight it and tire out quickly. I attempted to explain this to Robert before hand, although he didn't really understand.  Later we practiced in our hotels pool so he could get a better understanding of how to stay on top of the water and slow his breathing.

Hawaii Adventure PART 2

So as previously mentioned Robert is terrified of heights, he is also very very afraid of water. Our trip to Kauai involved both of Roberts fears on a daily basis, which is quite difficult for anyone...however he was super positive the whole time! I say take your partner and have them face their worst fears with you so you know how you both will react...LOL. It gave me confidence that we can handle most anything :D

On the way to Waimea Canyon (I later found out you can float this river, if we go back that is definitely happening)

Waimea Canyon (dat wind blowin his hairrrr)

Waimea Canyon

Wailua Falls

I like to explore, hike, and see things; I like to find the hole in the wall restaurant where the locals drink, I am a traveler, a wanderlust and the more Rob and I travel the more I  have noticed Robert seems to be a home body, (especially when the entire trip involved his fears). To try and make things more comfortable while we were there, we set up a sort of routine (found things that were like home or comforting). For me the hardest part about traveling is the food. On my birthday (which was also Mother's Day this year) Robert found a restaurant that was conducive to my tummy needs for our breakfast/brunch, it was called Common Grounds. The food was amazing and their music was just as good, Robert kept saying things like "This is your kinda place;" or "I bet you are the only person who knows this kind of music here." I think its comforting for him knowing my tummy is good. :P

Taro pancakes with Macadamia nuts~ HEAVENLY 

Tropical Fruit Brulee~creamy fruity amazingness

Fresh Fish Locks and Goat Cheese bagel

savoring his last bite :P

When you entered "Common Grounds" this is what you first see

One of my favorite things is animals; some of you know when I was younger I raised two chickens. I was ecstatic to see all the chickens and roosters in Kauai. This was on the way to breakfast and I had to shoo a mama and her babies off the road so I wouldn't squish them.

I also managed to catch a lizard (something that I also love to do). These lizards blend in with their surroundings and change colors! This one was brown until I was holding him then he turned bright green!

If you can see the tiny sand crab Robert caught, it blends in very well with the sand!

More about our snorkeling adventures to come!