So here is a few things about my experience with Autism.
Something about autism that I find so profound, is the connection you can make with these individuals. The connection is different then those with typical peers. The love you feel when you make a connection with someone with autism seems so much stronger and so much more real. It's a child like love, one that takes time and sensitivity to create, one that is loyal and unhindered. When you are in their circle you are something special.
About 2 years ago I left one of my first long term positions with a kid who had autism. I worked with him for nearly 2 years. Most days I was with him for about 6 hours, others I was with him for 10 or more hours. He was my buddy, and I was his. My role was everything from caregiver to teacher to nurturer. I took him to get his shots, was there when he was sick, took him to school events, worked with him on his social behaviors and so much more. When I had to explain to him that I would be leaving he cried and cried, and pleaded with me to stay. It was really, really difficult. He taught me so many things. Yes you heard me right a 5 year old with Autism, taught me things; some profound things at that. Patience, unconditional love, and most of all communication.
Communication for anyone is difficult, but especially for kids that have autism. I am constantly working on creative ways to communicate with the individuals I work with, and find ways to help them communicate with me. I think the greatest bonds are formed when communication is present; whether its verbal or non-verbal, as long as constant communication is there, the connection with that individual is very strong.
The last 2 years I have worked primarily with a child who I will call R. R is extremely smart, very witty, and so so sweet. The thing with R is that he doesn't have the ability to formulate complete sentences, so those on the outside don't know how smart he is. They also don't know how to communicate with him.
When I started working with him I did a lot of observing; he would switch his iPad and his wii into other languages and easily type and search things using those languages--when I would mention to him that I noticed what he was doing or ask him about it, he would "play dumb" or act like he couldn't any longer. I would ask him about a topic or tell him something one day, and find he had written down a few words on a piece of paper or had searched what I had mentioned on his iPad. (R has been able to read since he was 2) As time went on I noticed that many of the people around him (especially his teachers) thought that he didn't understand things; they were very very wrong. In 2 years a boy who used to sit in school and count shapes and read colors for 6 hours, now does long division, algebra, understands pi, knows about circuits and a ton of other science and math related topics. Through teaching him these things I found ways to communicate with him, he makes jokes with me and remembers things that are important to me. I talk to him like a friend, and although he doesn't always respond with words, he will write things and type things to me so I know he understands.
About 2 weeks ago I wrote on his white board. "R I have something I need to ask you." He looked up at me. "I am getting married soon and I wanted to know if you want to come?" As he I watched his eyes read each word he started to smile. He took my pen and wrote in big letters "YES". Then I wrote something else "After my wedding R, I have to move away." I watched again as his eyes skipped past each word. He looked up, clearly confused. I then wrote, "I am moving to San Diego on August 15th." He looked down and then grabbed the eraser and erased what I wrote. I left it at that, days went by and I would check his search history and find things like San Diego, hotels San Diego, and San Francisco. A year ago I was traveling a bit and would frequent San Francisco, he wouldn't see me for a few days but I would always return. I wondered if he thought I would come back like I did before. When his parents found someone who I could train to work in my place, I think he finally understood I was actually leaving. Tomorrow is the first day of the new therapists training with me, and although I was anxious about having to train someone I hadn't said much about it to R. Today R, was crying; I couldn't figure out what was up, at first I thought he was just trying to waste time because he was bored with division, but something just felt different. So I wrote on his board "Why are you upset" I handed him the pen and he wrote "because linsy is coming". It hit me Lindsay the new ABA therapist was coming tomorrow and he understood she was going to be taking my place. I wrote "do you want her to come" he looked down; then I wrote "Why are you sad that Lindsay is coming?" He held the pen in his hand for a few seconds wrote the word "because" and looked up at me, then continued to write "Alice the Camel." ----to anyone else this would have made no sense; but to me "Alice the Camel" is a joke we have about a song. He plays the song and giggles, waits for me to smile at him, I will start singing, he then hugs me, smells my hair, and starts doing his work. R, in his own way was telling me that he was sad I was leaving, I started to tear up he looked up at me, climbed onto my lap, and hugged me so tight. ----
I love my job, even on the most difficult days I love it. Leaving is difficult, change is difficult.
