As our little bean grows the pain in my body intensifies, everything I do feels like an extra challenge. I knew pregnancy was going to be hard (especially for me), and I've done my best to fight the pain and stay as positive as possible. The hardest part for me has been staying away from medication that I know could ease my pain, but may be harmful for my baby. It has also been a mental battle being in completely new places, while being almost entirely alone (Robert has been working 6- 10 hr shifts for a few months with an occasional weekend off). While in San Diego it was nice to get out and see some friends, now that we are back in Washington but on the other side of the water, I don't see friends or family as often. I know many women who have had difficult pregnancies, so I know I am not alone. Pregnancy can be (and is quite) isolating, no one can feel how you feel. Your body is completely changing and your mental state is all, well...emotional...I feel incredibly beautiful one day and the next I feel like a giant whale. From the 10 times I pee an hour, to the weird hair growth and constant kicking, some days I feel like I just can't take it anymore (luckily the nausea/vomiting is gone). It is also difficult talk about how horrible you are feeling when you know so many people who have had super easy pregnancies or much harder ones.
We finally did some quick maternity photos. I was told that their were 3 main photos most women take, a day shot, a dusk shot, and a silhouette. Honestly the first 2 were the most difficult for me and they were the only two I shared on Facebook. The last photo the silhouette we took while we were in Vegas and although I feel huge, I feel beautiful (I didn't post that photo on Facebook because I felt it was a little more personal).
 |
| Day Photo |
 |
| Dusk Photo |
 |
| Silhouette Photo |
I think pregnancy is such a combination of "icky beautifulness" and although my pregnancy has been very difficult for me, I have the overwhelming feeling of joy when she moves (even though sometimes its too much), or responds to Robert or I talking to her by her quick jabs. I know a bit of me will miss her little movements and knowing shes all safe and cozy inside my belly. She will be here so soon and we are so so excited. Knowing that I am carrying such a little miracle (as cliche as that sounds), gives me strength I didn't know I had.
I am always so grateful to have Robert by my side, he is truly one in a million and makes every day amazing. He is the sweetest most caring man, and I know he will be an absolutely amazing father. I can't wait to meet our baby girl!
