We moved to San Diego (temporarily) in July and returned to Washington in December. The transition back home has been really hard, a lot harder than I ever imagined. I was incredibly excited to be in our home; well mostly just to have our stuff and our space. I was finding my tribe in San Diego, people who truly loved us and our girls. It was refreshing to be there; waking up every morning with the sun shining. The girls thrived, Kora was in school and we were outside almost every day. When we first arrived in San Diego Robert was working the night shift, and that was really hard at first, but we started to get into our groove and of course things changed again; they moved us up north and I had to have surgery again. Since then things have shifted. I think the hardest thing for me right now is that every time we seem to find a good groove a big change happens. My attitude is always well that is life, make the best, but coming back to the gloom and the cold is taking a toll on me for sure. I've been in hibernation mode, I never want to leave the house. The cold makes my bones ache; my back gets stiff and basic movements become hard. I'm still working out daily but coping with the pain is getting harder. I am struggling with the monotony staying home. I miss working, and having interaction with others. Don't get me wrong I am grateful I get to be home to raise my babies but I miss being out in the world. I am trying my best to find my tribe again back in Washington, but finding that mesh is hard. It is hard to put myself out there again. My soul feels tired, real tired. Soon, I am sure this too will pass.
San Diego will always have a big piece of my heart, it's where Remi learned to walk, it's the place she stopped nursing, it's the place for many adventures, it's the place where I experienced a lot of personal growth; and for all of that I am grateful. Until next time San Diego.
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